Look forward to what could be while celebrating what already is.
Since specializing in women’s health, I have had the privilege of supporting women on their journey towards motherhood. For some, the process is more trying than others, and having experienced a loss myself, I know firsthand that it truly is a journey of body, mind and spirit. More are turning to kinesiology precisely because of its ability to nurture the whole person. Inspired by some of my clients’ fertility stories, here are 3 of the most common psychological blocks I’ve encountered, and tips on how to overcome them:
1. “When I have a baby, then I’ll truly be happy.” For many of us who become fixated on a goal, whether it’s a child, a relationship or a dream job, we can fall into the “I won’t feel X until I have Y” trap. When I see my fertility clients slipping into this frame of mind, I ask: “What do you expect to feel when the little one finally arrives?” Joy, they say. Love. Fulfilment. Then, I ask: “Are you already experiencing any of these emotions in your life?” Sure enough, the answer is always ‘oh…yes’. By not acknowledging or being fully present in such moments, we are effectively denying ourselves the very emotional state that we are striving for, and over time, that can take quite a toll on our sense of wellbeing. Don’t put your life on hold; don’t delay your happiness. Look forward to what could be while celebrating what already is. Gratitude is the quickest way of attracting more things to be grateful for.
2. “I don’t want to get my hopes up.” For those that have been at it for a while, the monthly cycle of trying and testing can get very exhausting. The higher the hopes, the greater the disappointment, it seems. Negativity almost feels like the safer approach. How does one stay even-keeled through what can feel like an emotional roller-coaster ride? I suggest replacing hope with trust. The difference? Hope is fingers-crossed; trust is open palms. One is clenching, the other is releasing. In the words of Jim Carrey, “it’s about letting the universe know what you want and working towards it, while letting go of how it comes to pass.”
3. “I’m stressed that I’m stressed.” We’re becoming increasingly aware of the impact that stress can have on our health and fertility. For some of my clients, this awareness can become stressful in itself, and they find themselves in a vicious cycle of self-inflicted anxiety. One way to ‘shift gears’ is to notice whether your thoughts, feelings and actions are fear-driven or love-driven. These two opposing emotions create entirely different chemical environments in the body, so it’s important we get our intentions right. Eat well to enjoy the pleasures of nourishing yourself; seek support to indulge in some much deserved TLC; make love to celebrate the passion you have for each other.
Like most things, it’s how we respond to stress that matters. In kinesiology, we use stress as biofeedback, a source of vital information, and a valuable tool for change. It enables us to pin-point what you need, be it nutritional, physiological or emotional. To find out more about our Fertility Program just get in touch – we’d love to support.
Christina Paul, Kinesiologist